.....the awakening
There are times in your life when you feel like you have finally awakened from what seemed like a deep sleep or a trance-like state. It's not an epiphany rather just a realization that you need to awaken.
In recent months my relationship with a woman whose insecurities have made a mockery of our relationship has made me question what is it that women really want, or more importantly what is it that this particular woman wants.
Her paranoia over my friendship with other women made me abandon friendships yet more recently I discovered that she continued a clandestine relationship with a 'friend' who of his own admission suggested that their friendship was more than platonic.
As though that were not enough I've struggled with trying to accomodate a tempramental and spoiled child whose father essentially abandoned him at birth.
I'm tired...mentally and emotionally. Are relationships meant to be this hard ? Or should I take a hint that something this hard is not meant to be?
There are times in your life when you feel like you have finally awakened from what seemed like a deep sleep or a trance-like state. It's not an epiphany rather just a realization that you need to awaken.
In recent months my relationship with a woman whose insecurities have made a mockery of our relationship has made me question what is it that women really want, or more importantly what is it that this particular woman wants.
Her paranoia over my friendship with other women made me abandon friendships yet more recently I discovered that she continued a clandestine relationship with a 'friend' who of his own admission suggested that their friendship was more than platonic.
As though that were not enough I've struggled with trying to accomodate a tempramental and spoiled child whose father essentially abandoned him at birth.
I'm tired...mentally and emotionally. Are relationships meant to be this hard ? Or should I take a hint that something this hard is not meant to be?
posted by LaughingEyes | 9:21 PM
1 Comments:
Laughing Eyes,
Stumbled into your blog, bloghopping from Heartcrossings'. This was when I tried to recall how our paths crossed in 2005. Too bad - missed all the comments on support groups.
Glad I stumbled into this spot. And sorry to hear about your struggles.
" I've struggled with trying to accomodate a tempramental and spoiled child whose father essentially abandoned him at birth."
Ah...abandoned kid. My sympathies - both to the kid and to you. Let me see:
1. Child clings to parent stubbornly refusing to allow you to even talk to this parent. You can understand the insecurity, but this leaves you no time to know this parent.
2. Parent wouldn't send kid on playdate for an hour on a holiday so that you can have a conversation or take a walk together - parent feels they're "abandoning the kid" if they even spent an hour apart on a weekend. If you ask for an hour alone you are labeled a child-hater....and potential Evil Stepparent.
3. There is only one identity "Parentchild" - not parent and child. Child rejects you and acts disrespectful. You understand that child is feeling threatened by you, but you're expected to take all insults smilingly. If you feel hurt - how dare you? Don't you know that this is "Parentchild" against "The World"? Sorry pal, you are part of The World....Tough luck :)
4. Parent puts child on a pedestal and does Disneyland parenting to make up for the loss of the other parent. Child can do no wrong. And the world has to pay for the abandoning parent's sins.
5. Kid competes not just with your kid but with you also. You're battling Oedipus/Electra complex if its parent+opposite gender child.
6. You are not treated like a partner, but asked to be maternal/paternal from the get-go to a child who is hostile. The partner's affection is conditional on how parental they perceive you to be towards this kid. Its not enough if you're kind and friendly, you have to become kid's mom/dad. But, mind you, you dare not discipline or scold like a mom/dad.
7. When you suggest counseling for kid, all hell breaks loose.
How do I know all this? Gnana dhrushti :D.....
Cheers, and good luck,
Priya.
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